DOCTOR: Flu season is coming - get your flu shots.
WIFE: Why is it when I ask "can you please clean your plates and put them in the dishwasher," I end up with a pile of dirty dishes stacked in the sink the next morning covered in caked on crusted on goo that takes an army corp of engineers, 10 brillo pads, and a lot of cursing and praying to scrape off?
MOTHER: Here is Katie. My 15 month old pride and joy. Yesterday I picked her up at daycare school and found her fists balled up so tight it was hard to get her sweater on. You know, the one I packed for her and gave to her teacher that morning, even though it was 90 degrees. I told her "it is going to get colder this afternoon." Her teacher looked at me like I had two heads and one of them was purple with green hair singing show tunes. Anyway, I soon discovered that she had an entire Ritz cracker in one hand and an entire Nilla Wafer in the other. Apparently she had been hording these the entire afternoon. I strapped her into her car seat and picked up her binkie - that she motioned towards with a closed fist "Aaahh......ahhhhh" - and popped it in her mouth. Half way through the car trip home, she shoved the entire Ritz cracker in her mouth and smiled. A few seconds later she popped in the Nilla Wafer, muttered "mmmmmmmmmm" and licked her lips. My child has not eaten this much solid food in a week. I guess it was a special day.
